Monday, January 30, 2006

00:00:05

I just finished a book the other day by one of my favorite authors, Matthew Reily. If any of you are familiar with his works, you know he writes action adventures. One of the trademarks of his stories is that the action never stops. His heroes go from one nail-biting scenario to another with hardly time for a bathroom break. From the first or second page they're either in a gun battle or swinging from cables over molten lava. And of course, all of these perils are surmounted with split-seconds to spare. For example, in the book I just finished, the hero has to defuse a nuclear doomsday machine with seconds to spare. When it's all over the timer has 5 hundredths of a second left on it.

So what does all of this have to do with Dry Crusts? Split-second rescues: do they happen in real life? When I see this kind of cliche used in a book or a movie, I want to say "no way, that dude would have been toast in real life." Yet time and again, I've witnessed this kind of thing in my life. No, I haven't had to defuse a nuclear doomsday machine lately, but there have been countless times when I needed help of some type (usually financial) that I didn't know where to turn. Almost invariably, an unexpected check arrives in the mail. Either that or somebody repays a loan that I never expected to be repaid, or a gift from out of the blue...you get the picture. I never expected it, but there it is, the solution to my problem. It has happened too often for it to be mere chance. I should be homeless on the street...and maybe someday I will be. But I thank God that, for the moment, I'm not.

Which leads me to the final point of this soul-searching post. Why can't I trust God more? I know He cares. I know he has pulled my butt out of more scrapes than I can count on both hands. I say publicly that I trust him to see me through my trials and tribulations, but privately...deep down...there's this nagging doubt. What if this time God doesn't save my sorry butt from whatever disaster is looming on the horizon this week? I suppose it sounds like another cliche to say that's Satan doing his thing, but I think it is. That nagging doubt is him telling me to give it up, to stop trusting God. And no matter how close the timer gets to 00:00:00, that's one thing I can't do. I'll never give up on God to defuse that bomb.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Hillbilly 10 Commandments

I stumbled across this today and got a laugh out of it. I thought it was mildly humorous, so I'm passing it along for what it's worth...slightly edited for overly offensive verbage.


The Hillbilly Ten Commandments

  1. Don’t read the horoscopes ‘cuz they’re based on the planets, like Jupiter and Mars and those other fellers and heathens and jezebels that were fake gods in that there mythology so if you read your horoscope it’s just like worshippin’ fake gods not real ones like me, ‘cuz I’m the one and only God. So don’t do that, ya’ll.

  2. Don’t worship nothin’ that ya carved outta wood—even tho’ that there seven foot pine tree bear carvin’ that ya made with yer chainsaw is pretty darn impressive.

  3. Don’t say my name as a cuss word even if ya did just smash yer thumb all to bits with a ball peen hammer, ‘cuz that ain’t right, usin’ my name like ‘at an’ all.

  4. Go to church ever’ Sunday like yer s’pposed to, unless it’s Super Bowl Sunday; ‘cuz even the preacher ain’t gonna be at the church on Super Bowl Sunday. Oh, an’ don’t work on Sunday either, unless yer scheduled for that shift or ya need the overtime real bad.

  5. Be good to yer Mama an’ Daddy — even if yer Mama is a drunk an’ yer Daddy is a jailbird. Just be glad yer Mama didn’t abort ya an’ yer Daddy didn’t let her take ya down to the dump an’ leave yer cryin’ butt there like she wanted to.

  6. Don’t kill nobody unless it’s a huntin’ accident or you’re protectin’ yer property.

  7. Don’t cheat on yer wife even if she did git all fat an’ ugly. You shoulda known she’d turn out that way—just look at her Mama.

  8. Don’t take nothin’, ‘cept fer little thangs like them free pens an’ refrigerator magnets from the bank an’ the grocery store an’ whatnot.

  9. Don’t lie ‘bout nothin’ or nobody unless it makes fer really good gossip or you’re tellin’ a huntin’ story an’ you’re sure ya ain’t gonna git caught (or if yer wife asks ya if she looks fat in her new hot pink polyester pantsuit—you’d best better lie your butt off, then).

  10. Don’t want nothin’ just ‘cuz somebody else bought somethin’ ya like a whole bunch — just borrow it and fergit to return it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Downtime

Has it really been a week since my last post here? Wow, how time flies. I've posted a few new things on my other blog this week, but that doesn't require a lot of thinking. All I have to do is find a funny or unusual news story, locate some clipart to go with it and post the link. Here I've got to do some thinking...and I think my brain is still suffering from paradigm strain.

Nothing much new to say about things in general. Everything is about the same ol' same ol' around here. I wonder if it was like that for Jesus? I mean, when we read about Him in the Bible, He's always running around preaching, telling stories, praying, healing folks, attending a banquet or stuff like that. I don't recall a mention of any significant amount of "downtime" for the Savior in the gospels. Of course things like that don't make for a good story...so do you suppose the gospel writers just sort of edited those parts out? I'd like to think that He had time to relax once in a while. Maybe watch the chariot races, read a good scroll, or perhaps play a game of chess or something. Wait...forget the chess. He'd beat you every time. After all, He is a Grand Master. :)

I've had several visitors leave comments, I want to thank you all for that. The comments are appreciated and help let me know that my opinions are actually being read and the visitor counter isn't just racking up hits from people just passing thru.

Well, that's it for today, I'll try to post a little more often if I can squeeze something significant out of this ol' brain of mine.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Brain Strain

This "blogging" thing is fun, but it can be a hassle as well. I have time to work on it, but having the time and taking the time are two different things.

There was a new post on the church blog a couple of days ago about new paradigms, postmodernism and such things...some heavy stuff. Things that strain my feeble old brain to think about. I'm comfortable with my "religion" and tend to resist change. I don't want to think about new paradigms, I'm happy with the old one.

I guess that's sort of what it must have been like back in Jesus' day. The Saducees and Pharisees were happy with the status quo. They didn't like Jesus rocking their boat. They were comfortable where they were.

Change is inevitable. For the church to appeal to new generations, I realize that some things need to change...just don't change them too fast or change them just to be changing. Have a good reason for the change and make sure it's not going against the scriptures. I might be able to accept it...or at least tolerate it.