Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about...

Looking over my posts since I rebooted the blog, I notice that I failed to mention the first major event of my current health crisis...so I'll rectify that omission with this post.

Flashback to Sunday, March 23rd, a month ago. The CT scan that revealed my cancer was already scheduled due to other issues but hadn't been performed yet. I wasn't feeling too good that Sunday morning, I was moving a little slow. I was momentarily disoriented while walking down the aisle in the church auditorium, but steadied myself on a chair for a moment and the feeling passed quickly. I didn't think much about it. At the end of services my wife noticed I wasn't feeling well and asked if I was able to drive us home. "Of course!" I answered. Standing up, I immediately had a light-headed feeling rush over me and I started to reevaluate that statement. I remarked something to the nature of maybe somebody else needs to drive us home. I staggered around and a couple of other church members grabbed me by the arms and pretty much dragged me outside to a friend's car. By the time I got to the vehicle I agreed they needed to take me to the local ER.

The drive to the ER from the church building took somewhere around thirty minutes or so. I wasn't watching the clock, I was moaning, groaning, and dry heaving all the way. Pulling into the emergency entrance, they dragged me out of the car and threw me in a wheelchair. That's where my memory starts getting spotty. I remember laying on a really narrow bed with my right arm hanging down feeling like it was about to fall off but they wouldn't let me move it. I recall a lot of people around me and one guy pushing really hard on the right side of my neck and complaining about some problems he was having with whatever it was he was doing. There were some big electrode patches glued to my chest and I felt a few shocks from them. In my foggy half-awake state I said something a little fresh to one of the nurses also...she did look pretty.

While all of this was going on, I later discovered my frantic wife was meeting with a grief counselor. My heart rate was down to 27 BPM when they brought me in. Not sure about the other vitals, but I'm pretty sure they thought they might loose me.

I eventually woke up with a temporary pacemaker in my right neck and IV lines hanging out of my right arm and left shoulder.  Eventually I was told that the level of digoxin in my system was way too high and had caused the episode. Four days later my medications were adjusted and I was able to go home. Once home, I looked up the normal dosage for digoxin. My old prescription called for the maximum dosage of 500 mcg per day. I'm now down to just 125 mcg and only 5 days a week. Some of the other heart medications have been cut back as well and I'm doing a lot better, thank you.

My cardiologist recommended a pacemaker on my followup visit after my release from the hospital. That's on hold now while I deal with the cancer thing.

Just got a call while I was writing this post with the appointment for the out-of-town specialist for May 12. Let's get this show on the road, people! I don't want to wait another three weeks!!!!

Making Redactions

I went back through all of the old posts on this blog this afternoon and did a little creative editing. A couple of posts were deleted, but most of it was just getting rid of personal references such as names and places. It won't keep someone who is even the least bit determined from gathering personal info about me and my family, but it makes me a bit more comfortable about what I've been posting. As the old Dragnet TV show used to say, "The story you are about to see is true; the names have been changed to protect the innocent."

Just a couple of minor updates to mention tonight. The urologist confirmed that the kidney affected is my RIGHT one. The left kidney is fine. That sort of surprised me just a little since the pains I've been having in my back and hip are on the left side.

I'm supposed to get a call tomorrow with the appointment for the kidney specialist. He's out of town and is apparently one of the top people in the field in this area of the country. An expert at laparoscopic and robotic surgery and specializing in renal cancers. The hospital has a little video of him discussing his bio information, why he does what he does and some of his personal philosophy. Seems like a pleasant fellow who cares about his patients.

We adopted a dog a few days ago from someone who was unable to care for him. Unfortunately his name was the same as our cat. It was causing some confusion with two pets running around the house with the same name...which one are you talking about? So the dog has been hung with the name "Huhu" for the time being anyway. Why "Huhu" you ask? That's what our 2 year old grandson says a dog's bark sounds like.

Oops, there I go, putting out too much information again. I suppose in this case it probably won't matter too much. I can always come back and redact the dog's name later....

Healing The Masses

As I waited for my appointment with the urologist this morning, I noticed a Bible laying on the table. I picked it up and turned to a random passage in the New Testament.  It was the Book of Matthew, chapter 14.  My eyes quickly fell upon verse 14, "And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick." Some folks refer this as "Jesus healing the masses" although I haven't been able to find that exact phrase in the Bible. I had to smile as I thought to myself, "I've got a couple of masses right here that need healing, Jesus. One on my kidney and one in my lung."

The visit with the urologist confirmed that the CT scan shows what is probably renal cancer. He is sending me to a specialist, I'm waiting for a call with an appointment time...hopefully ASAP. I looked the new guy up online, it looks like he's one of the top men in his field, at least in this part of the country.

My research over the weekend tended to indicate that the survival rate for renal cancer that has started metastasis is only about 5-10%, but the doctor this morning seemed to think my chances were much better than that. In his words, "don't give up hope, this thing is survivable."

I broke the news to my church family a little while ago, a lot of faithful, praying people there. I love and appreciate every one of them.

Letting It Out

Okay, everyone in the family pretty much knows about my cancer now. I had hoped to have all the kids home for Easter to tell them at the same time, but that didn't happen. Each got told separately yesterday. My youngest son on the phone, my daughter when she got in from Columbus, and the older son when he dropped the grandkids off for us to watch them overnight. Dad was told a few days ago. The only one I haven't contacted is my sister, but I'm guessing she's already heard about it from Dad. I'll probably give her a call later today just to make sure about it though.

I'm not sure if I'm going to tell anyone else at church about it quite yet. The elders and pulpit minister know for sure, and maybe the associate minister. I think that's probably the only ones. I did ask for prayers on the church Facebook "prayer chain" page, but I wasn't specific as to the reason except for a "major crisis" sort of thing. I'm planning on letting folks know as soon as I get the "official" word from a doctor and know just how bad this thing is. While I'm about 99.9% sure it's extremely serious, I don't want to be shouting "wolf!" if it turns out to be some sort of anomaly.

In Other News...

I guess I should do a quick update on things that happened during the last two years to bring anyone interested up to date.

When we last left Grampy, his mother had just died and his son had been fired. Grampy was unemployed but recovering from a ruptured appendix and unable to receive unemployment benefits, and his wife was in the last stages of preparing for bariatric surgery....

1. Mom is still dead...obviously. I've pretty much adjusted to the trauma of missing her funeral, although it still bothers me from time to time.

2. My oldest son did find a job as a telephone tech support person for a major telecommunications company. The pay is better than his previous job but it's a long drive and they're pretty unforgiving when it comes to punctuality. His wife found work for the same employer but their work shifts are different, so it's one of those "ships that pass in the night" sort of situations at the moment.

3. I've recovered from the appendix surgery. It left a VERY large and unattractive scar, but otherwise I'm good with that...not counting my current crisis.

4. I exhausted all of my unemployment benefits but was able to start drawing early Social Security benefits, so it sort of balanced out. The money is still tight, but we're not starving.

5. The wife had her bariatric surgery. She's lost some weight and her diabetes has stabilized, which was what she had hoped for. She hasn't lost as much weight as she had expected and still needs insulin, so it wasn't a complete success. Another down side is that her ability to tolerate different foods is about nil. Two or three bites of most foods and she's done. More than that makes her want to throw up. Unfortunately she can tolerate things like cookies, ice cream and potato chips...which accounts for her not loosing as much weight as expected.

6. I signed up for bariatric surgery after the wife completed hers. The insurance company didn't balk at any of the doctor visits, tests, etc. until the last stage. I even had my gall bladder removed because they saw some "sludge" in it. I got all of my ducks in a row for nearly six months and the surgeon contacted my health insurance provider for approval on the surgery. Surprise! My insurance policy specifically denies all forms of weight loss surgery. What??? Yup, health insurance Nazi says "No weight loss for you!"

7. My daughter finally graduated college and got a good job working for the school in an area similar to what she was doing in the student work program. She's not 100% happy with the job, but tolerates it and is making reasonably good money.

8. I don't hear much from my youngest son, but he seems to be content and is working pretty much full time as is his wife.

9. I now have two grandchildren.

So that's pretty much all I can think of at the moment...back to the crisis at hand in my next post.

Spinning Wheels

Waiting for things to happen is the worst. It seems that everything about my latest crisis moves at a snail's pace.

I had an appointment with my cardiologist yesterday to talk about getting a pacemaker. The appointment was made before the CT scan results (cancer) were known. When I mentioned it, his jaw dropped and he said "Oh my God!"  Not the reaction you expect from someone who sees that kind of thing on a daily basis. It wasn't exactly comforting, although I do appreciate his apparent empathy. He usually has sort of a cold fish, clinical demeanor, so the exclamation was really surprising.

So, the pacemaker is off the table for at least six months. Apparently it would make any kind of radiation therapy more complex. Also he remarked that my heart rate seems to be doing better since they adjusted my medications. Yeah, sure, that's what he told me the last time he screwed around with them. I'm not that confident.

While I was there, I visited the CT lab where the test was done to try to resolve some discrepancies in the test results. There are two sections in the report. One mentions a mass on the LEFT kidney. The other section talks about the same mass, but says it is on the RIGHT kidney. So either the guy interpreting the scan doesn't know right from left, he's made an error, or both kidneys are endangered. Of course it was Good Friday and he was off work that day. They left a message for him to check his work. I'm not encouraged. If they're going to cut me open and take one of my kidneys out, I want them to be sure they're getting the correct one!

I still haven't mentioned my condition to my children yet. I sort of wanted to tell them all at the same time so I don't have to rehash all the details three different times, and since Easter is this weekend I had hoped they would all come home for the holiday...but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. One is running late and won't be here until late Saturday. Another has some sort of event he has to attend Saturday night and is working Sunday. The third hasn't responded to my phone call and is apparently not coming at all.

My appointment with the urologist is Monday. I'm guessing that's when I'll get the official word on exactly how serious this thing is. I'm bracing for really bad news in the hopes that it won't be as bad as I'm thinking it is. The facts I'm working with are:

1. The main mass is 8.5 centimeters in diameter. That's bigger than a large orange.
2. The other mass is 4 centimeters. A ping pong ball. Nothing to sneeze about.
3. I don't think benign tumors are metastatic.
4. I've been having symptoms for 5 years or longer and attributed them to muscular aches and pains.

So based on that evidence, I'm guessing it's pretty advanced and possibly a waste of time to operate. I'm hoping that's not the case, but it's what I'm getting ready to hear.

A New Crisis

Perhaps I'll start with a bit of ancient history. Back in the 1980's (that's ancient to some of you, right?) I used to work as a quality control technician for an asphalt paving company. My job was to assure that the asphalt we made met specification by testing samples of our product three or four times a day. I would take a large sample of the asphalt and break it down into it's component parts and analyze it's composition. To do this, you place the mix in a centrifuge, pour in some solvent, and spin out the asphalt cement (tar) until it's nothing but rocks. Then you cook the solvent saturated rocks until they're dry and run them through a series of graduated screens. Weighing the rocks on each screen and comparing the end result to the original weight of your sample will tell you whether or not it meets state and/or federal specifications.

I did  this for probably three or four years. The solvent was something called "Trichlorethelene." We called it "trichlor." It's a clear liquid that has a very strong chemical odor and evaporates about like rubbing alcohol. That's about all we knew about it for a long time. Then suddenly we were told to stop using trichlor and switch to a natural product made from orange peels called "Orange Sol." It seems that they discovered that the solvent we had been using like water...breathing in the vapor...washing our tools in...even using to clean our hands...causes renal cancer. Cancer of the kidney.

Flash forward thirty years. I've just discovered I may have renal cancer.  Coincidence? I'm thinking no. I'm pretty sure I have it, but I say "may have" because, as of this moment, I still haven't talked to a doctor about the test results that I unceremoniously received in an email. From the reading I've done on renal cancer in the last few days, I'm suspecting I'm at stage 3 or 4.

So that's why I've resurrected this blog. To tell my story, to rant, to blow off steam. To anyone who happens to stumble across it.

Mad As A Hornet

It's been slightly less than two years since I last posted. I haven't even looked at this blog in well over a year and upon my return I see that there are several broken images and who knows what other problems. Even my header image has disappeared. I'll see if I can get at least that fixed this evening. As for the missing images in previous posts, I don't think that's going to get fixed.

[EDIT: Ok, the old broken images are due to my deleting what I thought was an unused directory on my image server a couple of months ago. Sorry folks, the missing images are history and not coming back. Sigh.]

As in previous posts, my return has been precipitated by a crisis. You can tell from those older posts that this is a rant blog. I use it to blow off steam and just work out my frustrations. I've got a big one this time and I'm mad as a hornet. I feel violated beyond measure. I want to scream at the world, "UNFAIR!"

More in my next post, but to sum it up, I've just discovered...not gently...that I probably have renal cancer. I'm not mad about the cancer though, I'm mad about how I seem to have been placed on the back burner by all of the doctors and other medical professionals that I've been seeing for the past month and a half.

See the next post for more details...

Singing The Blues.

[Please note that there is an almost 2 year span between this post and the one above it.]
 
Gloom, despair and agony on me! 

Deep dark depression, excessive misery! 

If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

Gloom, despair and agony on me!

It started out at the end of July. My mother's health has been slowly declining for four or five years. We all were expecting it, so it was no big surprise when she passed away. Thirty-six hours later I was in the hospital with a ruptured appendix. I missed my Mother's funeral. I'm too fat for laparoscopic surgery, so they had to split me open like a watermelon. I'm diabetic so we're looking at the wound to be fully healed by maybe Christmas. Since I can't work due to the surgery, I now don't qualify for the meager unemployment benefits I was receiving. We're down to our mutual retirement benefits, half of which are immediately sucked up by medical insurance.  The most recent blow was today, my son was fired by the same folks that fired me six months ago. They were accusing him of theft, so there's a possibility that might screw up any unemployment benefits he had coming.

Now I realize that things could be worse, but the last four weeks have been a steady stream of extremely bad karma. I'm ready for some good news...right now would be nice.

On the brighter side of life, my wife's heart cath went well last month. The doctor didn't find any major blockages. She has a psych exam scheduled for tomorrow. As we understand it, that's the last thing needed before they can proceed with plans for the bariatric surgery.

Stressed Out

The wife had a stress test about three weeks ago and hadn't heard from the doctor on the results yet, so she gave his office a call. He was on vacation and nobody in the office could read his writing on her chart. Finally she got a call back a couple of days ago. They think it says something about a heart cath, so they've scheduled her to see the doctor on Wednesday. Hopefully it won't be serious. She also has an appointment in Columbus on Tuesday (tomorrow) for the second followup on her vitrectomy. Hoping that the doctor will say it's okay to proceed with the cataract surgery.

The "new" car is doing great. I ran a check on the gas mileage and it looks like it's getting about seven or eight miles per gallon more than the truck did. Certainly a big savings. Now that I'm out of work, I'm driving less also, so it all amounts to a lot of money.

Speaking of vehicles, my oldest son's van broke down yesterday. Looks like Walmart may have messed up when they changed his oil and he ran it dry. He put more oil in it and nursed it home this evening, hoping it won't be serious. He's talking about trading it in.

My fan fiction is doing somewhat better, I've written seven chapters and have gained a small readership. I'm sort of suffering writer's block at the moment, not sure where to take the tale next and trying not to write myself into a corner. My wife finished her first tale and has started on a second, but is also stymied for where to go next after publishing only one chapter.

Rollin, rollin, rollin...

Well, it took two weeks, but we finally got the truck back from the shop. We're $500 poorer, but it doesn't squeek anymore.  We also traded in the Oldsmobile for a slightly newer Chevy Impala with only 78,000 miles on it. Drives like a dream compared to the truck.  We'll probably be using it as our main transportation.  The wife wants to call it "The Silver Pearl," but I'm more partial to "Vlad The Impala."

Had some problems with our bank account, went to pay the garage with a debit card and it was refused.  Had to use a different account.  We had paid for the new car on the same account and I assumed that the big check had flagged the account. Tried to buy some gas the next day, same thing, card refused.  Tried using an ATM, transaction cannot be processed.  Called the bank's customer service...computer required me to enter the card number and then hung up on me, saying the account was inactive and to contact my local branch.  Great...I was out of town. Had to wait until the next afternoon and make a special trip to the bank to get things straightened out.  It seems that I made an online purchase from Oklahoma a few days ago and the bank thought that looked suspicious, so they closed down my account. Everything seems to be back online now.

The wife has been writing some "fan fiction" over the last month or so and I've been doing her proofreading plus offering suggestions on livening up her dialogue a little bit.  She's been getting quite a few glowing reviews.  At her urging, I decided to try my own hand at some fan fiction and posted chapter one of a murder mystery (serious stuff, no fluff) this afternoon.  I was excited when I got an e-mail within about fifteen minutes of posting...until I realized it was from a sexual pervert. She's rolling on the floor laughing at me.  Sigh....

Hitchin' A Ride ♫

Well, haven't heard back from the garage yet, so I don't know how much the ball joint repair is going to set me back.  Doing without a vehicle is very frustrating. We have another vehicle, but it overheats.  It's okay for short trips, but you have to stop and let it cool down if you have to drive more than 10 miles or so...and carry several jugs of water or antifreeze with you to replenish the coolant. I had it looked at a couple of years ago and was told it had a leaky head gasket. Don't really think that's the problem. I've had it worked on several times, by the neighbor, but it still overheats. I tried starting it yesterday afternoon; the battery is dead. And it's parked a lonnnnnng way from an electrical outlet to plug it into a charger. I may tackle that dilemma this afternoon; I think I might have enough extension cords to plug together that might reach it. In the meantime I've been borrowing vehicles from friends and relatives or asking them to drive me various places.

Big Bang Theory

Well, nearly a month has passed us by since my last post. I guess it's time for an update on how things are going.  I'm still unemployed, only one response to my resumes so far...they weren't hiring.  If nothing turns up by November, I'm probably going to apply for early Social Security benefits and say goodbye to the rat race. After working my arse off for 46 years, I deserve a little retirement. 

The website has been on hold for a couple of weeks, the wife has discovered Fan Fiction and is in the process of spinning a tale about Sherlock Holmes (ala Benedict Cumberbatch). She's finished 5 chapters (about 2 chapters a week) and has gotten several very good reviews from her readers.  I've been proofreading for her and suggesting changes to her text to liven things up a bit. Things like adding a few descriptive adjectives, pointing out continuity problems, etc.. I'm impressed with her story, she's really a good writer. I guess 30 years of teaching reading to third graders might have helped somehow.

As I mentioned earlier, the wife had a major blowout of a blood vessel in her left eye just a couple of days before she was scheduled to have cataract surgery.  It didn't get any better after a couple of weeks so she had to have a vitrectomy done (sucking the vitreous out of her eye along with the blood and debris, replacing it with saline solution).  The cataract surgery is now on hold until that clears up.  Might be two or three months before it's back on the table.

As for her bariatric surgery, there has been some good news in that corner. Her insurance company has changed it's waiting time policy from six months to three months.  She's already been in the program three months now, so the doctor's office is preparing the paperwork to request authorization. It'll take a few weeks to get that all together, then a few more weeks for the insurance company to go over it all before approving. Hopefully sometime in July or thereabouts she'll be getting that done.

I got my foot tangled in the seat belt of my pickup truck about two weeks ago and fell over on my back onto a concrete parking lot.  Messed my back up quite a bit, making it hard to walk without extreme pain.  Have visited the chiropractor several times and am starting to feel better.

I barely avoided a catastrophe today. I had both front wheel assemblies on the pickup replaced by a "big brand" service center in Columbus last summer.  Ever since that, the front end has had a rubbing/squeeking/creaking sound in it. Hard to describe, best I can come up with would be like a large rusty hinge. I had it looked at a couple of times, but nobody could see anything wrong.  I noticed today that the sound was getting louder and thought to myself, "I should have that looked at."  I drove to the supermarket and picked up a few groceries and as I started to back out of the parking space, there was a loud BANG! and the driver's side front end shook a little bit. I braked immediately and got out to look at the front wheel. Didn't see anything, so I thought "the service station is less than a mile away, I need to take it down there now and get it looked at ASAP!"  I jumped back in and started to back out again, moved just a little bit and there was even louder BANG! This time the whole front driver's side shook and dropped several inches.  I got out and this time there was something obviously wrong.  The tire was tilted out at about a 30 degree angle and something attached to the frame was sitting on the ground.  As I have since been told, a ball joint failed. While it's a disaster and is certainly going to mess with my already tight budget to get this thing fixed, thank the Lord I wasn't tooling down the road at 55 MPH when the thing failed!

My youngest son's adoption plans are now on hold due to other financial obligations, mainly medical bills. About a year's worth of work has gone into the adoption process, he assures me that it's just on "hold" for a year or so and they won't loose any of the money they've already poured into it.

Why do I even try?

I've now been unemployed for a little over two months. Resumes and cover letters have been flowing out of my printer and sent off like little pigeons. Unfortunately they don't seem to be homing pigeons, because nothing has been coming back so far.

I had to attend a mandatory meeting about looking for work and the opportunities that are out there. It was pretty depressing to hear that, although the average unemployment rate in Ohio is 7%, for our county it's 11%.  Didn't sound very good to me. One of the presenters was from the local vocational school, talking about adult training classes that were available.  Coincidentally, I used to teach classes there myself.  Anyway, he passed out a brochure that listed the various things available. A major drawback to any of the classes is the school location...on the other side of the county. It would be a 70 mile drive to attend classes which means spending $70 to $100 a week in gas. Not very likely.

So, I noticed that one of their classes was offered online and it sounded like something I could handle. Hot dog! I asked the presenter about it, and he said "Yeah, the whole course is offered online," so I checked the box on the form we had to turn in at the end of the session that I was interested in training classes.

The following Monday I called the school to inquire about when classes would be offered.  Surprise #1, not until September. Five months from now. Bummer. Okay, how about the online component of the class? Surprise #2, we don't offer that anymore...the brochure is out of date.

Come on, people. If you're giving out information on what's available, at least you could make sure it's current!  I mean, the brochures were obviously printed with a color laser printer hooked to your computer...is it too much trouble to go in and edit your document?

In other news, my wife's cataract surgery has been put on hold due to an unexpected rupture of a blood vessel in the eye. A trip to her retina specialist was unproductive last week, too much blood occluding the retina. He couldn't see anything, much less do any laser work on it.  We're going back in a couple of weeks for him to take another look, hopefully the blood will have settled and he can work on the eye then. If not, she may be in for some more serious surgery to do the repair.

Her gastric bypass is still on track, no setbacks on that front. She's been very serious on her diet and has lost at least 7 pounds so far. I'm very proud of how well she's doing.

Tech Guru In Training

I've been helping my wife set up a new website she's wanting to run. If you know her, you know she's a somewhat technology impaired, but enthusiastic nonetheless. She wants to learn but gets frustrated very easily when things don't work the way she thinks they should. She also gets VERY impatient if I can't fix the problem like snapping my fingers. Hopefully I can get things up and running for her in a few weeks, we're shooting for May 1, 2012 to put it online.

No major changes for the two of us otherwise.  As for the family, my youngest son and his wife just moved from a medium sized house into a 2nd floor apartment for two reasons. First, it puts both of them several miles closer to work. Second, they are in the process of adopting a child and felt that the new apartment would help them in regards to some of the qualification requirements. The old house had some problems in the basement that would have been really expensive to get up to the standards of the adoption agency.  They've also started an adoption blog, so we can keep up to date on how things are progressing.

I'm Still Here

No posts for a couple of weeks, been kind of busy. Unfortunately that doesn't mean I have a job yet.

I gave up waiting on the AARP insurance papers and called them on the phone and gave them my vitals...sorry Charlie, AARP only takes the healthiest people. After some more searching, I determined that nobody except my school retirement folks would even offer me health insurance.  So I had to go with the high-priced plan.  All of my retirement income plus somewhere around $600 of my wife's will be going to pay for it.  Still haven't gotten the first billing...sort of nervous about that.

My plan went into effect April 1st and I renewed all of my prescriptions for about $100 co-pay.  I sat down with the bills and added up the actual cost before the insurance and the price would have been about $150 less than what my premiums amount to...so I guess I'm sort of breaking even.  Why do I still feel it's WAY too much money?

I've started collecting my unemployment benefits from ODJFS, that's a little consolation also.  Just got notified yesterday that I have to attend a mandatory four hour meeting on job hunting next week. Oh joy.  I've also been sending out resumes to potential employers, no responses yet.

My wife is still pursuing the cataract surgery and surgical weight loss and has at least one doctor's appointment scheduled every week for the next month and a half, some weeks two or three appointments.  All of them involve a drive of between 50 and 200 miles, depending on the doctor.  At 14 mpg, my old truck is sucking up a good portion of our income also.

Ah, such is life. Sooner or later I'll get over it.

On The Toilet

Getting old and infirm definitely has it's disadvantages.  One of the major problems is just getting up and down.  Forget about trying to get up off the floor after you're down, let alone getting down there in the first place without falling.

My inability to get up and down forced me to call on someone else for help the other day.  Our toilet tank had been leaking on and off for at least a month.  I understand the mechanics of how the toilet flush thing works, I just can't get down on the floor and root around under the toilet to fix it. After multiple urgings from my wife, I finally contacted a fellow from church who knows a bunch of folks who can do odd jobs on the spur of the moment. One of the church elders dropped by the same day and installed a new flapper valve which seemed to fix the problem...until about 4 a.m. the next morning, when it started leaking continuously.  I was able to get the water shut off after about fifteen minutes of crawling around on the floor. Wow, that hurts the knees getting back up! So now I'm getting ready to go down to the hardware store and buy a complete new flush assembly mechanism. Hopefully our elder can stop by again and install it for us.

My youngest son and his wife have been visiting with us for a few days, he got a phone call yesterday evening to let him know that the store he manages had been broken into by thieves. So they left early this morning to return home and assess the damages.

My daughter is due in later today for a visit between school terms. I enjoy when the kids come home to visit.

Still haven't gotten anything from the AARP insurance people. The website says 7 to 10 days, yesterday was 10 days. I think I'm going to give them a call if I don't see something in today's mail.

I'm Doing Fine

Got my first check from ODJFS last Saturday.  It's a comfort to know that I'll have a steady income while I seek new employment.  The only thing still bothering me is the lack of health insurance.  Still haven't heard from the AARP insurance folks.  The website says to allow 7 to 10 days for the information packet to arrive.  Don't recall how long ago it was I requested it, but I think it's getting close to 10 days.  I need to look back at my earlier posts to see.

One little thing bothers me about the insurance...I know it's silly, but when I requested the info packet, the website said they would send me their "Insurance For Dummies" kit.  I'm a bit insulted by their insinuation that I'm a dummy. I consider myself fairly intelligent and am rather offended by their insensitive comment.

I felt a sore spot on my forehead this afternoon and when I looked in the mirror I discovered a tiny liquid-filled blister. WTF? I finally realized it had been caused by the CPAP mask I wear when I sleep. Guess I need to loosen the strap a little.

One of my sons and his wife are visiting with me for the next couple of days and my daughter is coming in later in the week. I always enjoy it when the kids drop in for a few days. We don't do a whole lot, mostly just sit around and watch TV or play games, but just having them around is a nice feeling.

I ordered a new wedding band online for my wife today, she had to have her old one cut off when she hurt her hand a while back and had to have it cut off when her fingers started swelling.  I also got hold of her original diamond wedding band that she hasn't worn in several years. The diamond fell out of it, so she stopped wearing it. I'm planning to take it to the jeweler's and see if I can get a new stone put in it for her.

Assorted Stuff

Several things have happened yesterday and today so I thought I'd pop in to update the blog.

Just after I finished my last post, an e-mail from ODJFS arrived to let me know that I'm eligible for unemployment benefits!  Not a big check, but after you consider the gas I was burning going back and forth to work at 14 mpg, it's pretty close to what I was making before I got fired, not counting the health benefits.  I think the thing that made me feel the best about it was that they determined I had been discharged "without just cause."  In my mind that sort of justifies my opinion that my former boss was pretty much a douchebag who just wanted to get rid of me.

I still haven't heard from the AARP health insurance folks, gonna give them a call Monday and see if I can get some info on how to get a policy in effect.

My wife is looking at two life changing surgeries in the near future.  First of which is cataract repair.  She has diabetes and has been slowly going blind over the last couple of years.  The surgery will brighten up her world and improve her eyesight, but there's already been damage to her retinas, so she is still probably going to need glasses. I took her to the doctor today and they scheduled the surgeries.
Second, she's entered a surgical weight loss program and is looking at stomach bypass surgery in about six months if all goes well. Hopefully that will stop or at least dramatically improve her diabetic problems.  She's very upbeat about all of this, I'm proud of her.

Forever Waiting

No word from ODJFS on the status of my claim yet, but hopefully it won't be long. I gave them a call and they said my employer had until last Tuesday to reply to their request for information. After that they would review my case and I should hear something by the first part of next week.

I'm not sure my employer's failure to respond promptly is a good thing or not. I'm a little nervous about the whole thing.

I just found out last night that Google AdSense has banned my son from their service for some reason. I'm guessing that he was getting too many clicks per ad versus the number of visitors to his blog. They're pretty anal about that. In his defense, it was a good blog and he had a lot of followers.

My wife and I have stumbled into the middle of a feud between two local factions. One of those "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situations. Perhaps I'll elaborate in a future post, it looks like we're not going to get our foot out of the bear trap any time soon.

Hurry up and wait

Still no word from ODJFS on my unemployment status.  Even so, I need to go online and file a claim for last week. I just hope it's not a waste of time.

A little hope on the horizon, my Google AdSense account is starting to bring in a trickle of loose change. I just received an email from them today to let me know my earnings have topped $10 and I can start receiving checks from them.  That's with just 17 followers and less than one ad click per day. I plan to work on cultivating some additional followers today.

I've also started scheduling the posts on my humor blog, my posts are currently going live every morning at 7:00 a.m. but I'm considering moving it up a couple of hours for people who possibly check my blog before going to work in the morning.

Doing okay for now

I just verified that our income tax refund was direct deposited to our bank account this morning. We have a few outstanding bills that need to be paid and a couple of purchases we would like to make, but hopefully a good portion of it can go towards getting cataract surgery for my wife.

I looked around online for better deals on health insurance and found a couple of policies available through AARP that look promising. Monthly premiums are significantly less than what the School Employees Retirement System is asking. Benefits aren't quite as good, but I don't think I can afford the gold standard at this time. I requested an information packet and will be looking into this deeper.

I weeded out a gob of old paper on my desk yesterday...and a gob more came in the mail.  Mostly bills that need to be paid. Nothing from ODJFS as of right now, hoping to get some sort of determination on my status some time today.

Everyday I'm Shufflin'

I'll admit it. I'm a paper hoarder. I don't throw away stuff like most folks. In particular, I don't throw away junk mail...or any mail for that matter. I intend to throw it away, I just don't seem to be able to get around to doing it. Consequently the paper stacks up on my desk to the point that I can't find anything very quickly and end up shuffling through it all the time looking for things. Eventually I get to the point that everything I'm going through is several months old and I end up sticking it in a box to go through and weed out...but it never gets done. So not only do I have stacks and stacks of stuff on my desk, I have boxes and boxes of stuff that needs to probably be thrown out. I'm hoping to do some paper disposal today. A lot depends on whether I get any more missives from ODJFS or not.

I mentioned in my last post that Google AdSense had finally approved my other website for ads. In the last 5 days I've generated more income than I had in three months using PocketSense. Amazing.  It's not a flood of money, actually less than a dollar so far, but I'm encouraged nonetheless.

We had some snow yesterday, enough to close the schools, but not enough to last until the end of the day. Everything had melted off by late afternoon.  My wife has a policy that states "If schools are closed, I don't work either."  So I took her lead and didn't do anything in regards to my unemployment situation yesterday.  Instead I watched TV most of the day.  I did get around to setting up her computer station so she doesn't have to wait on me to finish working here.

One last thing, I did verify that the wife of my former boss is now doing my old job. Supposedly it's only "temporary" until they can find someone else. Yeah, right...I can certainly believe that story.

Thank You, AdSense!

It doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy. For example...

About eight years ago I started a blog and put some advertisements on it courtesy of Google AdSense.  The blog never made much of a splash and I eventually let it go dormant for a long time. I don't think I ever made any money on it.

Recently my son started a blog with some Google AdSense banners on it and I was amazed at the size of some of the checks he was receiving after only a few months.  So I decided to give it another try.

I changed my e-mail address since I started the old blog and there were some problems with restarting AdSense there...so I totally deleted the old blog and started a new one.  Google still wanted to look at the old blog URL and nothing I did seemed to work.  I've been struggling for 4 months to get AdSense banners to show up on the new blog and had pretty much given up on it.  Suddenly this afternoon AdSense banners started popping up on my site.

I am happy.  Like I said, it doesn't take much.

More of the same

More questions to answer for ODJFS this morning. It was hard to answer some of them since my employer wouldn't discuss my discharge other than to say it was for "job performance."  I'm beginning to suspect they might determine I'm ineligible for unemployment benefits. That would be the pits.

Getting ready to go out and buy stuff to build a desk for my wife to work at. Since my unemployment, I've been monopolizing the computer. We're going to resurrect a netbook that's been gathering dust, put a monitor and keyboard on it and create a workstation for her.  We've been kicking around the idea of some sort of online marketing that might bring in some extra money but haven't really hit on any super fantastic concepts yet.

Well, she's ready to leave, so I guess I need to cut this short.

How Much Is My Health Worth?

Suddenly becoming unemployed means several things. One of the more important things that is happening is an end to health care benefits through my employer.  Since I'm dealing with multiple health problems and taking about 12 different medications to keep stuff under control, I am of the opinion that health care coverage is rather important. 

I'm currently receiving retirement benefits from two different past employers, neither one is very large. Definitely not enough to live on even when combined...which is one of two reasons I was still working up until last Thursday.  The other reason was that health care coverage was available through my employer. They offered a piss-poor major medical plan ($25,000 deductible!?!), but it did include prescriptions at a reasonable discount.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had contacted one of my retirement benefit providers about health care coverage and expected the cost to be more than what I was receiving from them.  Imagine my dismay when I discovered that my coverage will cost everything I receive under BOTH retirement plans...plus an additional $700 per month!

Granted, it's a good plan ($1500 deductible versus $25,000) and comparable prescription discounts...but the cost is totally outrageous.  I'm pretty sure my prescription costs and regular doctor visits would be much less than the cost of the coverage. My main worry would be if I were to get really sick or injured and require hospitalization or some sort of surgery.  In addition, if I wait too long to seek new coverage, I loose "pre-existing condition" coverage.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point, I think a lot will depend on what the folks at ODJFS determine in the way of unemployment benefits.

Rainy Wednesday

Looks there's like a long rainy day ahead of me today. At least that's what the weatherman on TV said and he's rarely too far off the mark.

I'm getting ready to go pay my last respects to a friend from church who passed away over the weekend. Funerals in the rain can elicit some really depressing thoughts. I don't think I want to go that direction today though.

I got my paperwork sent in to ODJFS yesterday afternoon and checked with the IRS this morning, my refund won't be in for about another two weeks for some reason. I thought this e-filing thing was supposed to be a lot quicker than that. I haven't gotten any important e-mails this morning, so unless I get something later on I'm planning to start updating my resume this afternoon.

Working on my resume is always an exercise for my brain. Wording and rewording and shifting paragraphs here and there to make it look as professional and complimentary to myself as possible.  Telling the truth while trying to give the impression that I'm younger than I really am and not a grumpy old coot who could kick the bucket before they get him trained for the job.

Busy, busy, busy.

I woke up again at 5 a.m. today, but this time I rolled over and went back to sleep for a while. I did get up at 7 a.m. and got ready for the day. Don't want to let myself fall into a rut of laying around in bed or living in my pajamas.

I had planned to work on my resume this morning but other things pushed that plan to the side for a while.

Since my employer only said "job performance" and wouldn't discuss exactly why I was discharged and there wasn't a category like that, I put "undisclosed reason" on my application for unemployment benefits. That tripped a flag and ODJFS emailed me that they needed clarification via an online form.

The form said to "briefly describe" why I thought I was discharged. No indication of how much "briefly" was, so I gave them a couple of paragraphs...and crashed the javascript application. Okay, they were LONG paragraphs. Really long. I pared down my description a little and resubmitted it. This time it didn't crash, but it did tell me there was a 1500 character limit. So I had to use a machete and cut the crap out of my beautifully worded document. In the end it was a mere shadow of it's glorious beginning. Hopefully it conveyed at least a hint of the anguish I feel at being so coldly terminated.

Add to that they want a quarterly breakdown of my wage earning information for a 16 month period. Yeah, like I keep that handy. Took me all day to come up with all of this stuff. Getting ready right now to run down to the post office and get it in the mail to them.

I should also be getting some paperwork to fill out regarding medical insurance. Wonderful! I just LOVE having to track down all of this information.

Work, work, work...

Today was the first Monday that I didn't absolutely HAVE TO get up at 5 a.m. to get ready for work. I got up anyway. It didn't FEEL right sleeping in.

So, I've been busy today getting started on this new adventure.

I logged into ODJFS and started a new claim for unemployment benefits. I'm a little nervous since I now receive a small retirement income from two previous employers. The total amount is far less than the "official" poverty level, so hopefully it won't impact my benefits to severely.

My employer didn't specify exactly what the "Job Performance" issue was that precipitated my departure and "Job Performance" wasn't an option on the application...so I just said "Undisclosed." I'm praying that won't be an issue. One of my previous employers tried to get my unemployment benefits denied by lying about the reason for my departure many years ago. That's a nightmare I don't want to relive if possible.

I also contacted one of my retirement providers about starting health insurance with them. It's better than the policy that I had with my former employer, but also more expensive. The cost of the policy will probably eat up most (if not all) of my retirement benefits, so we'll be living on my wife's retirement check. Not having health insurance isn't an option since I have multiple health-issues and my medical expenses are pretty significant.

I still need to get a few more things nailed down, who knew being out of work could be so much work?

A New Post At Last

After a long time ignoring this blog, I appear to have more time to devote to it now, seeing as how I am suddenly unemployed.

After four and a half years doing the same job, I was summoned to the office and dismissed for "job performance." I suspect it was office politics. A new department manager with a wife who needs a full-time job.

They had planned to get rid of me last August but circumstances made it impractical for them to do so. This time they got their ducks in a row and bid me goodbye. It was very cut and dried. "Hi, we're dismissing you, sign here, clean out your desk, give us your keys, don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Tomorrow is the first Monday in a long time that I don't have to get up at 5 a.m. to go to work. It's probably going to feel a little strange.

I'm understandably a little depressed but I think I'll get over it eventually. And, of course, it will be quicker if I find a steady source of income.

Monday comes with a lot of stuff to adjust to, phone calls to make, things in my life are changing and I guess I'll have to adapt.

I think perhaps the most annoying thing about all this is when I'm in that half-awake/half-asleep mode, sort of daydreaming and I think of something I need to do at work...and then I realize...No, I don't need to do that at work because I no longer have a job.

I'm Not Ignoring This Blog

Well, maybe I am. No posts since 2008? Yeah, I guess that qualifies for being ignored. Seriously ignoring it. Definitely.

Why? I guess it's just too many other things that I'm involved in that are easier to take care of. Posting stuff on a blog usually requires some thought, and I'm one of those people who doesn't like to do a lot of introspection. Maybe I'm afraid of what I might find there, I don't know. But I've always been one of those kind of people that just live from moment to moment without a lot of planning ahead. I don't know how I feel about a lot of topics because I've never really given them a lot of consideration.

So much water under the bridge since my last post, I don't know where to begin in reference to updates. So I won't. Let's just say that life at the moment is treating me reasonably well. There are always little nit-picky problems to deal with, but I haven't been handed any big worries in the last couple of months.

Hope you're doing well also, I'll try not to make it another three years before I post again.

Why Me, Oh Lord?

We all have troubles in our lives, some more than others, but nobody I know lives a carefree life. When my troubles start to mount, I sometimes have the temptation to think “was it something I did? Is God punishing my family and I for something one of us did?” Jesus was approached about the topic of bad things happening to people in Luke 13:

There were present at that season some that told him of the Galileans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galileans were sinners above all the Galileans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Luke 13:1-5

The first time I read this, I focused on the “repent or perish” comments, but take a closer look. He asks the people if they think the people that perished had sinned any worse than anyone else in Galilee or Jerusalem. He then answers his own question; obviously not. His point being that they were just average people who suffered, they weren’t being punished or singled out because they had committed some horrendous sin. In the sight of God, we are all guilty of sin. These people that perished were just like you and me. Bad things happen to good people, it’s a fact of life...deal with it as best as you can, but don’t feel that you’ve been marked for punishment for some unspeakable deed.

So then, should we just shut up and take what’s coming to us no matter how terrible it is? No! God loves and cares for us. Matthew 6:25-34 makes it clear that God will provide whatever we need, but all of God’s promises come with conditions. We must seek His Kingdom and righteousness (6:33). Jesus concludes his thoughts in Luke 13 by saying that everyone will perish eventually except those who repent of their sins.

The bedrock of the Gospels is the message to repent of our sins and seek salvation. Once we accept Jesus as our savior in a scriptural manner (baptism, etc) we can approach the Father through Him in prayer. God does answer prayer. The old cliché that sometimes His answer is “no” is unfortunately true, but that fact should not prevent us from asking Him for help in times of trouble. God does not give his children stones when they ask for bread.

Have a nice day

Long time since I posted anything. Lots has happened, some bad stuff but mostly good. I won't go into details except to say that things have sort of slowed down and are getting back to normal for the most part. Still some dark clouds on the horizon, but we're dealing with it and a maybe couple of them have silver linings...ya never know.

Getting Better...I Think.

I'm reminded of a line from an old Beatles tune "I'l have to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time...."

Friday morning I was frantic. I had just found out the previous evening that the towing company had been charging $20 a day to store my wife's car while we had been trying to negotiate with the insurance company of the guy that hit her. We owed over $400 in storage charges. The insurance guy I had been dealing with was saying that the guy who hit her claimed that she was over the yellow line and actually hit him. He implied that they weren't going to pay anything on it and were going to refer it back to our insurance company. Since we were only carrying liability on the car, we were going to be left without any compensation for the car at all.

As I said, I was frantic. I didn't know where to turn except to the Lord. I prayed harder than I have in a LONG time. I needed a miracle.

I called the insurance guy back that afternoon and apparently their adjuster had finally looked at the car and told them it was obvious that their guy was at fault and wrote it off as a total loss. They agreed to pay the towing company charges, set us up with a rental car for the next two weeks, and paid us about $1500 more than I expected for the car. Basically the situation took a 180 degree turn. Thank you Lord, the miracle is greatly appreciated!

In other news, she is looking at an operation on her arm. It was broken in several places and needs pins or screws or something. It will probably be some time this week, but we're not sure which day yet. Prayers on that situation would be appreciated. Workman's Compensation is supposed to start sending her some money in the next week or two, so that will help out a little bit also.

My youngest son completed his move from Kentucky to Ohio last night. He got all of his earthly possessions crammed into one pickup truck and an SUV. His mom and I aren't too thrilled about him moving into his fiancée's house, but he's on his own now...not a whole lot we can do about it except make him aware of our disapproval of the situation.

We're defininately not off the log ride yet, but at least we're on a relatively straight stretch at the moment. I'm just wondering when do we get hit with the big water splash? That means the ride is about over, right?

What next?

No posts since November? Wow, I didn't realize it had been THAT long. Lots of stuff has happened since my last post, a few good things and some bad stuff as well. Let's start with the good stuff first for a change.

My younger son is engaged to get married to a wonderful girl, the wedding is in August. He also has two new jobs in Ohio, both are part time, but between the two of them he should be making a decent income. He's moving back from Kentucky next weekend.

Um...I think that's about all the good news. Not much, huh?

On the opposite side of the coin, it's been raining bad luck on us for the last few weeks. It started with a call from the hospital to let me know that my wife had just been in an automobile accident, she had just been admitted and was awake and able to talk. That's all the nurse would tell me over the phone. Once I arrived I found out that she was fine...only a couple of scratches on her arm and a bruise from the steering wheel on her leg. The car on the other hand was history. It had rolled onto it's top and was pretty much totalled. We're still arguing with the other guy's insurance company about compensation for the damage. So that put us down to 2 vehicles for 3 people. Not a serious crimp, but that meant someone has to be picked up and dropped off at work.

She went back to work a couple of days later, had her annual performance review and got glowing comments as well as a $0.40/hour raise. An hour later she fell in the warehouse and broke her arm. Another trip to the ER, this time she came out with a splint on her arm.

A couple of days later her sister is admitted to the hospital with serious health problems, she's still there at the moment, but when she comes out we're probably looking at her being fairly unable to take care of herself with nobody but my wife to take care of her...with a broken arm.

[Edit: I have noticed I never followed up on the paragraph above. The wife's sister never made it out of the hospital. She ended up on life support for about a week before she passed away.]

Fast forward to today...the wife was driving me to work and got as far as the end of my street before realizing we didn't have any brakes! We were able to get back home and called my daughter to come home from school so we could use her car for the day. Now we're down to one vehicle for three people. Pretty much impossible to schedule everything around that situation, so I'm borrowing a vehicle from a member of the church for a while until the truck gets repaired. Both master cylinders on the rear brakes need to be replaced according to the garage...a big bill we really can't afford right now.

All of this in the space of about 2 weeks...piled on top of all of the other minor problems we always are dealing with. I'm starting to feel like Wyle E. Coyote...when is the next anvil going to drop on top of our family?

I'm looking for the silver lining, but I just can't seem to spot it at the moment. Surely there's a pony in this somewhere.

Thank You

It's been a long day and I'm tired. I was sitting in my comfy chair relaxing and thinking about heading off to bed when I thought about you. My friend. If you're reading my blog, it's most likely that you're one of my friends.

I want to thank you for being a friend. Friends are important to me. Friends care about you and how you're feeling. A friend takes time to do more than just say "Hello" and go on about their business.

I spend a lot of time complaining about how life is treating me here. I know it's not the most cheerful of blogs out here in cyberspace, in fact it's downright depressing occasionally. Sorry about that...but the fact that you come back and check in on me once in a while means a lot to me and I just feel the need to say thank you for that.

I have been blessed with many friends over the years. I occasionally run into folks that I haven't seen in ages and they always smile. It's rare that I see someone who doesn't smile when they see me. Thanks for smiling, it cheers me up when I'm feeling down.

Some of you have helped me out in one way or another. Helpful advice or encouragement, making a comment about one of my posts, showing me how to do something, or even loaning me a few bucks. Thanks ever so much for your kindness and generosity.

I love you, friend. You keep me from giving up when things get rough because I know there's a shoulder I can lean on.

I have another friend, his name is Jesus. Just like you he helps me through each day and keeps me from giving up. Although I can't physically see him, it brings a smile to my lips to think about him. He helps me out and I see his hand at work in my life when I stop to pay attention. I need to stop and pay attention more often. He has a shoulder I can lean on and I do so fairly frequently.

Well, I'm still pretty tired, so I think I'll turn in for the night. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my ramblings. Love 'ya!

Pennies From Heaven

Most of you that read my blog occasionally know I've just come out of a short period of unemployment. I assumed that by accepting a job, I'd no longer qualify for unemployment benefits. That stands to reason, doesn't it? Patsy only gets paid every other week, and we were between paychecks there. Also when going to work for someone you get to skip the first week's paycheck while they do the paperwork. Things were starting to get pretty meager around our household.

At one point we were down to less than $20 to do us for a week. Where was the money for gasoline to get to work going to come from? What would we eat? How could I pay the various utility companies to keep them from shutting off our service? Rest assured, I was doing a lot of praying on the matter along with a lot of worrying.

I went ahead and submitted information to the Ohio Dept of Job and Family Services [ODJFS] to let them know I had a new job...and they quickly e-mailed me back to let me know that I still qualified for a $60 check that week and it would be direct deposited to my checking account the next day. Less than 24 hours later I received $20 from a total stranger who donated some money to a cliché photo website that I run (it's free, but I have a "donation" button for anyone who wants to help me keep it online).

It wasn't a windfall, but that unexpected $80 would cover gasoline and put some food on the table. A few days later, a relative who knew the financial problems we've been having gave my wife enough money to get us through the rest of the week without going belly up financially.

God seems to still be keeping me on a short leash, but I want to say "Thank you, Lord!" Just when things seem so dark, a ray of sunshine pops through to let me know that maybe things won't always be this difficult.

Yes, God IS good all the time. I'm slowly learning that I can trust in that statement as a fact.

Got A Job!

Well, yeah, I got a job. Not the greatest pay in the world, so I'm still keeping an eye peeled for something that pays better. I took a job with a local furniture and appliance distributor a couple of weeks ago. They first put me in the upholstery repair department but I couldn't do the lifting and bending it required, so they moved me into inventory tracking which is a lot easier on my back. I'd appreciate continued prayers that I might find something that pays better or a raise in pay at this job :)

My older son is still looking for work and it appears that they may be moving to a smaller place that is closer to his wife's job. Prayers for them also, please.

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow: Part 2

Picking up where I left off, the local hospital said I'd have to wait a week to get the needle removed from my hand. I'm an impatient person to start with and that was entirely too long. I jumped in the car (automatic shift this time) and drove to the ER at a different hospital about 50 miles away. Their blood pressure machine worked and they quickly flagged me with high blood pressure and a rapid heartbeat. VERY rapid. Atrial flutter. Since they are a cardiac oriented hospital, they wasted no time in getting me admitted for the heart problems. The needle in the hand sort of got some minor attention, but the heart stuff was center stage. After a day or so of giving copious amounts of blood and being poked and prodded with needles in both arms for IV's, my heart rate was back to normal and I was scheduled for tests that finally lead to some cardiac ablation...killing the nerve endings in my heart that were causing the flutter. As an afterthought, they also found a plastic surgeon to take care of the needle. So it took me four days to get the needle out of my hand and my heart back to something approaching normal...all because of a cat.

I guess the upside of this is that I'm feeling much better. I certainly appreciate everyone who took the time to pray for me, stop by my hospital room, call, or send a card. Friends are what makes life so enjoyable. Thank you.

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow: Part 1

I guess God isn't done with me yet. Some of you probably already know I spent a few days in the hospital last week. You might not have heard all of the circumstances, so I'll fill in the details. It's a long story, so I'll split it up into two separate posts.

We have several cats that my wife adopted a few months ago that hang around outside. Although they are permitted to come in the house occasionally, they spend most of their time outside. Once they get inside, they prefer to stay inside, so it's a bit of a chore to catch them. If you recall the closing credits for the old Flintstones cartoon, Dino would jump back in the window after Fred tossed him out. It's kind of like that.

Sunday night (Sept. 9th) around 9 p.m., one of them had gotten into the house uninvited and it took me a while to finally get hold of it. I opened the back door and put the cat back out. I was just a little aggravated about the cat, so I used a little more "oomph" than usual when I put my hand on the door to slam it.

Go with me here...my wife doesn't do that much sewing, but when she does, she's picked up the habit of parking her sewing needle in the nearest available curtain. Some time in the distant past, she was sewing something near that door I was slamming and parked her needle in the curtain that hangs over it's window. After slamming the door, I was surprised to find that needle was now sticking out of my right hand. Pulling on the thread that dangled from the needle only retrieved half of the foreign object. The other half remained inside my hand causing a moderate amount of pain.

Since I didn't want to leave the needle in my hand, I decided a hasty trip to the local hospital ER was in order. Unfortunately my wife had gone to work, leaving me with her vehicle to drive...which is a stick shift. My daughter can't drive a stick, so it was up to me to get myself to the ER somehow. Thankfully there wasn't much traffic that night, I was able to get there with a minimum of shifting...3rd gear most of the way.

Once in the ER, they tried to take my vitals, but the automatic blood pressure machine gave them an error message. Apparently it was too much trouble to check it manually, so they just skipped that step and moved on. X-rays determined that the needle was in too deep and couldn't be removed until they located a surgeon. Two hours later with a tetanus shot, antibiotics, and some pain pills, I was on my way back home in 3rd gear. The hospital said they would call me Monday to let me know when a surgeon could remove the needle for me.

By 2 p.m. Monday afternoon I gave up waiting and called the hospital. Yes, a surgeon was available...the following Monday. I don't think you'll be surprised to find out that I felt waiting 7 more days was unacceptable. The pain pills helped a bit, but my right hand was unusable for all practical purposes and still hurt like the dickens whenever I moved my wrist the slightest bit.

To be continued...

Job Search Update

I mentioned in my last post that I didn't expect being rehired by the school to be a slam-dunk, and it sounds like I was correct. With a little more than a week before they have classes scheduled to begin, I finally called the school today to check on my candidacy status. The human resources lady cheerfully told me all about the wonderful qualifications of one of the other candidates whose resumé very effectively blows mine totally out of the water. Although they haven't offered the job to anyone yet, it sounded like it's his if he wants it.

That's a little depressing, particularly since I haven't had any nibbles on the other resumés I've sent out. I spent most of today looking for job openings on the Internet, nothing much for computer technicians unless I'm willing to move out of the area. I did think of a couple of local companies that I haven't contacted yet that don't offer online job applications, so I'll probably drop by to see them early next week. Plus there's one company I applied at about a month ago that expected to have a job opening soon...I'm planning to stop there and remind them I'm available.

My wife has temporarily moved to a swing-shift (10 p.m. to 7 a.m.) for a couple of weeks while the store does some seasonal changes. That means more hours so I guess I shouldn't complain, but it's really messing with her sleep cycle. Sort of like jet lag except she hasn't gone anywhere.

My daughter-in-law is scheduled to do a preliminary interview for a job doing much the same thing she does now with a 4x salary increase and a lot of other perks. It would mean a cross-country move for the family, but I can't see how they could turn it down if she's offered the position.

Keep us in your prayers.

Li'l Brudder

I think I mentioned in the comments section of my previous post that I was having a little problem with the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services regarding unemployment benefits. For those of you that didn't read the comment, since I was working for a school in a teaching capacity, the standard procedure appears to be to deny benefits to any applicant because they're probably just "between terms" and not really unemployed. Since the school discontinued the day class I was teaching and created three newly structured evening classes to take it's place (and advertised for potential instructors to send in resumes), it's pretty apparent to me that getting to teach any of the new classes isn't going to be a slam-dunk. In my opinion I was unemployed until I signed a new contract with the school. I appealed the state's determination and got news early last week that they agree...I'm eligible for benefits.

While it's a relief to know that I will at least have a small income to help with the bills for a while longer, I also have this guilty feeling. I know that I legitimately deserve the benefits, the state agrees I deserve them and, as far as I know, very few people would deny that I deserve them. But the idea of taking any kind of public assistance makes me uncomfortable. There's this nagging itch in my brain that keeps saying "You shouldn't be taking that money. It isn't really yours. Other people need it more than you do. You can make it on your own!."

There is a popular Internet website that posts animated cartoons called Homestar Runner. Some of you may know of it. One of the minor characters is a one-legged puppy called "Li'l Brudder." The dogged* determination of the character saying "I can make it on my own!" as it pushes itself along with it's one hind leg points out the absurdity of people who refuse to accept help when they desperately need it. A dog with one leg clearly needs help getting around. So I guess I feel a little like that little pup...I want to say "I can make it on my own!" But obviously I need that unemployment check to help make the ends meet until I find a job.

After I got over the major portion of the guilt feelings about this whole thing, I got to thinking that we can be just like Li'l Brudder in our spiritual lives as well. We want to say "I can make it on my own! I don't need any help. Let me make my own decisions, let me blaze my own trail!" Yet most of us realize doing it alone isn't the way life works. We need help getting through it. And we certainly aren't going to make our way to Heaven on our own stubborn-headed initiative. Anyone that denies that is just fooling themselves, dragging along like a one-legged puppy. Thankfully, getting help is just a prayer away. God can pick us up like that crippled pup and carry us wherever we need to go, but we have to ask for His help and be willing to accept it when it is offered, under His conditions.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but on the outside chance that you don't already know what those conditions are, a little Bible study is in order. Acts 2:38 for starters, after that try John 14:6. To put it in a nutshell you must believe, repent, confess and be baptized for the remission of sins. Those are just the basics, there's a lot more than that to being a Christian, but that's enough to get you started.

Well, so much for the deep philosophy this time, keep prayin' for me and my family. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

*Pun intended :)

It's About Time I Made Another Post

No new posts since May. Hmmm, not doing too well as a blogger, am I? I guess I just ain't one of those folks who can commit themselves to having deep philosophical revelations on a daily basis. It seems the only time I get on here to say something, I end up complaining about something...and I'm sure you folks don't get a big lift from hearing about my problems.

So here I am again, rattling my cage and complaining about how life really stinks right now. I know I should be grateful just to be here, able to see, feel, taste, and enjoy life. It's not like I'm homeless (at least yet), suffering from some incurable disease, or starving to death like so many others. It makes me feel guilty to complain about these little bumps in the road that I'm experiencing...but they're MY bumps, I feel them, and they don't feel nice.

Here's some updates on the whole family and things in general so you have some kind of idea where I'm coming from:

Me
Today was my first day of unemployment in about 12 years. Yesterday was the last day of the summer term and the school has decided to change the format of the class I was teaching from a 3 term/900 hour course to three separate 300 hour courses on the different topics I was teaching. Plus they're moving it from day classes to night classes. The changes technically make it an entirely different class, so they have to start over from ground-zero, which means open interviews for instructors, etc. In the middle of this they have also been moving their classrooms from the old building to a new one...which is still in the final stages of construction. All of this means at least a month (probably 2 months) of no paycheck for me and the possibility that I might not be rehired. I've sent out a few resumés over the last month or so and had one interview, but no solid job prospects at the present time. I did submit a claim for unemployment benefits today, so hopefully I'll have a little income anyway.

My Wife
The wife is now working part time at the new Mal-Wart. Not the greatest pay scale in the world, but it's a job. It's easier than teaching school but a lot harder on her feet since she has to stand all day. The job physically wears her out to the point that about all she does is sleep when she's not on the job. Add to this that she just was informed that she gets an unpaid week off during fair week since, historically, their business drops dramatically during that period. So around the end of August there's going to be a big drop in our combined income for a while. Since many of our bills are already a month or or more overdue, I'm not looking forward to the notices and threatening calls from bill collectors that I know will eventually be coming in.


Son # 1
My oldest son just got word from the school that he taught at last year that they aren't rehiring him for this school year. They waited until late July to inform him of this, so all of the schools that were hiring have already done interviews. Thanks, board of education. He's sent out resumés also but, like his old man, hasn't had many nibbles. There's a good chance that he may have to move in with his mother-in-law or us, since I don't think he'll be able to afford the rent on the house where he's been living.

Daughter and #2 Son
These two are the only bright spots so far. my younger son's new job is going well and his employer seems to be happy with his work. There's been a hint of a possible promotion in a year or two to a significantly better paying position if he sticks with it. He misses being around family and friends, however, and longs to return to southern Ohio. My daughter is doing well academically and just turned 18. She doesn't say much about her personal life and feelings, but she seems to be happy; although a little bit bored by having to live with a couple of old geezers for at least another year. Her summer scholarship program appears to have been a blast and she's looking forward to being able to go to college next year. I just hope she can find a full-ride scholarship somewhere, because it doesn't look like we'll be able to afford tuition any time soon.

Other relatives
Mom fell and broke her arm and is still recovering from that. At 78 years old that's a serious thing to have happen but, considering her severe heart problems, she is doing pretty well. Dad is doing alright, but taking care of my mother puts a lot of stress on him as well. My wife's sister is still having problems with her legs, but has improved significantly over the past few months to the point that she can sometimes get around without a walker now. Her brother is being sued for medical expenses by a guy who was speeding in a blind curve and ran into him as he was pulling out of his driveway. Clearly the other guy's fault, but technically my brother-in-law was cited for the accident and therefore liable.

Well, enough about my problems, how's life treating you? Praise the Lord that I don't have cancer or whatever. I know things could be a lot worse...but when does the uphill part of this roller coaster ride I'm on begin?

Know of anybody hiring computer repairmen or teachers? I know where they can find some really good ones. :)