More of the same

More questions to answer for ODJFS this morning. It was hard to answer some of them since my employer wouldn't discuss my discharge other than to say it was for "job performance."  I'm beginning to suspect they might determine I'm ineligible for unemployment benefits. That would be the pits.

Getting ready to go out and buy stuff to build a desk for my wife to work at. Since my unemployment, I've been monopolizing the computer. We're going to resurrect a netbook that's been gathering dust, put a monitor and keyboard on it and create a workstation for her.  We've been kicking around the idea of some sort of online marketing that might bring in some extra money but haven't really hit on any super fantastic concepts yet.

Well, she's ready to leave, so I guess I need to cut this short.

How Much Is My Health Worth?

Suddenly becoming unemployed means several things. One of the more important things that is happening is an end to health care benefits through my employer.  Since I'm dealing with multiple health problems and taking about 12 different medications to keep stuff under control, I am of the opinion that health care coverage is rather important. 

I'm currently receiving retirement benefits from two different past employers, neither one is very large. Definitely not enough to live on even when combined...which is one of two reasons I was still working up until last Thursday.  The other reason was that health care coverage was available through my employer. They offered a piss-poor major medical plan ($25,000 deductible!?!), but it did include prescriptions at a reasonable discount.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had contacted one of my retirement benefit providers about health care coverage and expected the cost to be more than what I was receiving from them.  Imagine my dismay when I discovered that my coverage will cost everything I receive under BOTH retirement plans...plus an additional $700 per month!

Granted, it's a good plan ($1500 deductible versus $25,000) and comparable prescription discounts...but the cost is totally outrageous.  I'm pretty sure my prescription costs and regular doctor visits would be much less than the cost of the coverage. My main worry would be if I were to get really sick or injured and require hospitalization or some sort of surgery.  In addition, if I wait too long to seek new coverage, I loose "pre-existing condition" coverage.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point, I think a lot will depend on what the folks at ODJFS determine in the way of unemployment benefits.

Rainy Wednesday

Looks there's like a long rainy day ahead of me today. At least that's what the weatherman on TV said and he's rarely too far off the mark.

I'm getting ready to go pay my last respects to a friend from church who passed away over the weekend. Funerals in the rain can elicit some really depressing thoughts. I don't think I want to go that direction today though.

I got my paperwork sent in to ODJFS yesterday afternoon and checked with the IRS this morning, my refund won't be in for about another two weeks for some reason. I thought this e-filing thing was supposed to be a lot quicker than that. I haven't gotten any important e-mails this morning, so unless I get something later on I'm planning to start updating my resume this afternoon.

Working on my resume is always an exercise for my brain. Wording and rewording and shifting paragraphs here and there to make it look as professional and complimentary to myself as possible.  Telling the truth while trying to give the impression that I'm younger than I really am and not a grumpy old coot who could kick the bucket before they get him trained for the job.

Busy, busy, busy.

I woke up again at 5 a.m. today, but this time I rolled over and went back to sleep for a while. I did get up at 7 a.m. and got ready for the day. Don't want to let myself fall into a rut of laying around in bed or living in my pajamas.

I had planned to work on my resume this morning but other things pushed that plan to the side for a while.

Since my employer only said "job performance" and wouldn't discuss exactly why I was discharged and there wasn't a category like that, I put "undisclosed reason" on my application for unemployment benefits. That tripped a flag and ODJFS emailed me that they needed clarification via an online form.

The form said to "briefly describe" why I thought I was discharged. No indication of how much "briefly" was, so I gave them a couple of paragraphs...and crashed the javascript application. Okay, they were LONG paragraphs. Really long. I pared down my description a little and resubmitted it. This time it didn't crash, but it did tell me there was a 1500 character limit. So I had to use a machete and cut the crap out of my beautifully worded document. In the end it was a mere shadow of it's glorious beginning. Hopefully it conveyed at least a hint of the anguish I feel at being so coldly terminated.

Add to that they want a quarterly breakdown of my wage earning information for a 16 month period. Yeah, like I keep that handy. Took me all day to come up with all of this stuff. Getting ready right now to run down to the post office and get it in the mail to them.

I should also be getting some paperwork to fill out regarding medical insurance. Wonderful! I just LOVE having to track down all of this information.

Work, work, work...

Today was the first Monday that I didn't absolutely HAVE TO get up at 5 a.m. to get ready for work. I got up anyway. It didn't FEEL right sleeping in.

So, I've been busy today getting started on this new adventure.

I logged into ODJFS and started a new claim for unemployment benefits. I'm a little nervous since I now receive a small retirement income from two previous employers. The total amount is far less than the "official" poverty level, so hopefully it won't impact my benefits to severely.

My employer didn't specify exactly what the "Job Performance" issue was that precipitated my departure and "Job Performance" wasn't an option on the application...so I just said "Undisclosed." I'm praying that won't be an issue. One of my previous employers tried to get my unemployment benefits denied by lying about the reason for my departure many years ago. That's a nightmare I don't want to relive if possible.

I also contacted one of my retirement providers about starting health insurance with them. It's better than the policy that I had with my former employer, but also more expensive. The cost of the policy will probably eat up most (if not all) of my retirement benefits, so we'll be living on my wife's retirement check. Not having health insurance isn't an option since I have multiple health-issues and my medical expenses are pretty significant.

I still need to get a few more things nailed down, who knew being out of work could be so much work?

A New Post At Last

After a long time ignoring this blog, I appear to have more time to devote to it now, seeing as how I am suddenly unemployed.

After four and a half years doing the same job, I was summoned to the office and dismissed for "job performance." I suspect it was office politics. A new department manager with a wife who needs a full-time job.

They had planned to get rid of me last August but circumstances made it impractical for them to do so. This time they got their ducks in a row and bid me goodbye. It was very cut and dried. "Hi, we're dismissing you, sign here, clean out your desk, give us your keys, don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Tomorrow is the first Monday in a long time that I don't have to get up at 5 a.m. to go to work. It's probably going to feel a little strange.

I'm understandably a little depressed but I think I'll get over it eventually. And, of course, it will be quicker if I find a steady source of income.

Monday comes with a lot of stuff to adjust to, phone calls to make, things in my life are changing and I guess I'll have to adapt.

I think perhaps the most annoying thing about all this is when I'm in that half-awake/half-asleep mode, sort of daydreaming and I think of something I need to do at work...and then I realize...No, I don't need to do that at work because I no longer have a job.

I'm Not Ignoring This Blog

Well, maybe I am. No posts since 2008? Yeah, I guess that qualifies for being ignored. Seriously ignoring it. Definitely.

Why? I guess it's just too many other things that I'm involved in that are easier to take care of. Posting stuff on a blog usually requires some thought, and I'm one of those people who doesn't like to do a lot of introspection. Maybe I'm afraid of what I might find there, I don't know. But I've always been one of those kind of people that just live from moment to moment without a lot of planning ahead. I don't know how I feel about a lot of topics because I've never really given them a lot of consideration.

So much water under the bridge since my last post, I don't know where to begin in reference to updates. So I won't. Let's just say that life at the moment is treating me reasonably well. There are always little nit-picky problems to deal with, but I haven't been handed any big worries in the last couple of months.

Hope you're doing well also, I'll try not to make it another three years before I post again.

Why Me, Oh Lord?

We all have troubles in our lives, some more than others, but nobody I know lives a carefree life. When my troubles start to mount, I sometimes have the temptation to think “was it something I did? Is God punishing my family and I for something one of us did?” Jesus was approached about the topic of bad things happening to people in Luke 13:

There were present at that season some that told him of the Galileans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galileans were sinners above all the Galileans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Luke 13:1-5

The first time I read this, I focused on the “repent or perish” comments, but take a closer look. He asks the people if they think the people that perished had sinned any worse than anyone else in Galilee or Jerusalem. He then answers his own question; obviously not. His point being that they were just average people who suffered, they weren’t being punished or singled out because they had committed some horrendous sin. In the sight of God, we are all guilty of sin. These people that perished were just like you and me. Bad things happen to good people, it’s a fact of life...deal with it as best as you can, but don’t feel that you’ve been marked for punishment for some unspeakable deed.

So then, should we just shut up and take what’s coming to us no matter how terrible it is? No! God loves and cares for us. Matthew 6:25-34 makes it clear that God will provide whatever we need, but all of God’s promises come with conditions. We must seek His Kingdom and righteousness (6:33). Jesus concludes his thoughts in Luke 13 by saying that everyone will perish eventually except those who repent of their sins.

The bedrock of the Gospels is the message to repent of our sins and seek salvation. Once we accept Jesus as our savior in a scriptural manner (baptism, etc) we can approach the Father through Him in prayer. God does answer prayer. The old cliché that sometimes His answer is “no” is unfortunately true, but that fact should not prevent us from asking Him for help in times of trouble. God does not give his children stones when they ask for bread.

Have a nice day

Long time since I posted anything. Lots has happened, some bad stuff but mostly good. I won't go into details except to say that things have sort of slowed down and are getting back to normal for the most part. Still some dark clouds on the horizon, but we're dealing with it and a maybe couple of them have silver linings...ya never know.

Getting Better...I Think.

I'm reminded of a line from an old Beatles tune "I'l have to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time...."

Friday morning I was frantic. I had just found out the previous evening that the towing company had been charging $20 a day to store my wife's car while we had been trying to negotiate with the insurance company of the guy that hit her. We owed over $400 in storage charges. The insurance guy I had been dealing with was saying that the guy who hit her claimed that she was over the yellow line and actually hit him. He implied that they weren't going to pay anything on it and were going to refer it back to our insurance company. Since we were only carrying liability on the car, we were going to be left without any compensation for the car at all.

As I said, I was frantic. I didn't know where to turn except to the Lord. I prayed harder than I have in a LONG time. I needed a miracle.

I called the insurance guy back that afternoon and apparently their adjuster had finally looked at the car and told them it was obvious that their guy was at fault and wrote it off as a total loss. They agreed to pay the towing company charges, set us up with a rental car for the next two weeks, and paid us about $1500 more than I expected for the car. Basically the situation took a 180 degree turn. Thank you Lord, the miracle is greatly appreciated!

In other news, she is looking at an operation on her arm. It was broken in several places and needs pins or screws or something. It will probably be some time this week, but we're not sure which day yet. Prayers on that situation would be appreciated. Workman's Compensation is supposed to start sending her some money in the next week or two, so that will help out a little bit also.

My youngest son completed his move from Kentucky to Ohio last night. He got all of his earthly possessions crammed into one pickup truck and an SUV. His mom and I aren't too thrilled about him moving into his fiancée's house, but he's on his own now...not a whole lot we can do about it except make him aware of our disapproval of the situation.

We're defininately not off the log ride yet, but at least we're on a relatively straight stretch at the moment. I'm just wondering when do we get hit with the big water splash? That means the ride is about over, right?

What next?

No posts since November? Wow, I didn't realize it had been THAT long. Lots of stuff has happened since my last post, a few good things and some bad stuff as well. Let's start with the good stuff first for a change.

My younger son is engaged to get married to a wonderful girl, the wedding is in August. He also has two new jobs in Ohio, both are part time, but between the two of them he should be making a decent income. He's moving back from Kentucky next weekend.

Um...I think that's about all the good news. Not much, huh?

On the opposite side of the coin, it's been raining bad luck on us for the last few weeks. It started with a call from the hospital to let me know that my wife had just been in an automobile accident, she had just been admitted and was awake and able to talk. That's all the nurse would tell me over the phone. Once I arrived I found out that she was fine...only a couple of scratches on her arm and a bruise from the steering wheel on her leg. The car on the other hand was history. It had rolled onto it's top and was pretty much totalled. We're still arguing with the other guy's insurance company about compensation for the damage. So that put us down to 2 vehicles for 3 people. Not a serious crimp, but that meant someone has to be picked up and dropped off at work.

She went back to work a couple of days later, had her annual performance review and got glowing comments as well as a $0.40/hour raise. An hour later she fell in the warehouse and broke her arm. Another trip to the ER, this time she came out with a splint on her arm.

A couple of days later her sister is admitted to the hospital with serious health problems, she's still there at the moment, but when she comes out we're probably looking at her being fairly unable to take care of herself with nobody but my wife to take care of her...with a broken arm.

[Edit: I have noticed I never followed up on the paragraph above. The wife's sister never made it out of the hospital. She ended up on life support for about a week before she passed away.]

Fast forward to today...the wife was driving me to work and got as far as the end of my street before realizing we didn't have any brakes! We were able to get back home and called my daughter to come home from school so we could use her car for the day. Now we're down to one vehicle for three people. Pretty much impossible to schedule everything around that situation, so I'm borrowing a vehicle from a member of the church for a while until the truck gets repaired. Both master cylinders on the rear brakes need to be replaced according to the garage...a big bill we really can't afford right now.

All of this in the space of about 2 weeks...piled on top of all of the other minor problems we always are dealing with. I'm starting to feel like Wyle E. Coyote...when is the next anvil going to drop on top of our family?

I'm looking for the silver lining, but I just can't seem to spot it at the moment. Surely there's a pony in this somewhere.

Thank You

It's been a long day and I'm tired. I was sitting in my comfy chair relaxing and thinking about heading off to bed when I thought about you. My friend. If you're reading my blog, it's most likely that you're one of my friends.

I want to thank you for being a friend. Friends are important to me. Friends care about you and how you're feeling. A friend takes time to do more than just say "Hello" and go on about their business.

I spend a lot of time complaining about how life is treating me here. I know it's not the most cheerful of blogs out here in cyberspace, in fact it's downright depressing occasionally. Sorry about that...but the fact that you come back and check in on me once in a while means a lot to me and I just feel the need to say thank you for that.

I have been blessed with many friends over the years. I occasionally run into folks that I haven't seen in ages and they always smile. It's rare that I see someone who doesn't smile when they see me. Thanks for smiling, it cheers me up when I'm feeling down.

Some of you have helped me out in one way or another. Helpful advice or encouragement, making a comment about one of my posts, showing me how to do something, or even loaning me a few bucks. Thanks ever so much for your kindness and generosity.

I love you, friend. You keep me from giving up when things get rough because I know there's a shoulder I can lean on.

I have another friend, his name is Jesus. Just like you he helps me through each day and keeps me from giving up. Although I can't physically see him, it brings a smile to my lips to think about him. He helps me out and I see his hand at work in my life when I stop to pay attention. I need to stop and pay attention more often. He has a shoulder I can lean on and I do so fairly frequently.

Well, I'm still pretty tired, so I think I'll turn in for the night. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my ramblings. Love 'ya!

Pennies From Heaven

Most of you that read my blog occasionally know I've just come out of a short period of unemployment. I assumed that by accepting a job, I'd no longer qualify for unemployment benefits. That stands to reason, doesn't it? Patsy only gets paid every other week, and we were between paychecks there. Also when going to work for someone you get to skip the first week's paycheck while they do the paperwork. Things were starting to get pretty meager around our household.

At one point we were down to less than $20 to do us for a week. Where was the money for gasoline to get to work going to come from? What would we eat? How could I pay the various utility companies to keep them from shutting off our service? Rest assured, I was doing a lot of praying on the matter along with a lot of worrying.

I went ahead and submitted information to the Ohio Dept of Job and Family Services [ODJFS] to let them know I had a new job...and they quickly e-mailed me back to let me know that I still qualified for a $60 check that week and it would be direct deposited to my checking account the next day. Less than 24 hours later I received $20 from a total stranger who donated some money to a cliché photo website that I run (it's free, but I have a "donation" button for anyone who wants to help me keep it online).

It wasn't a windfall, but that unexpected $80 would cover gasoline and put some food on the table. A few days later, a relative who knew the financial problems we've been having gave my wife enough money to get us through the rest of the week without going belly up financially.

God seems to still be keeping me on a short leash, but I want to say "Thank you, Lord!" Just when things seem so dark, a ray of sunshine pops through to let me know that maybe things won't always be this difficult.

Yes, God IS good all the time. I'm slowly learning that I can trust in that statement as a fact.

Got A Job!

Well, yeah, I got a job. Not the greatest pay in the world, so I'm still keeping an eye peeled for something that pays better. I took a job with a local furniture and appliance distributor a couple of weeks ago. They first put me in the upholstery repair department but I couldn't do the lifting and bending it required, so they moved me into inventory tracking which is a lot easier on my back. I'd appreciate continued prayers that I might find something that pays better or a raise in pay at this job :)

My older son is still looking for work and it appears that they may be moving to a smaller place that is closer to his wife's job. Prayers for them also, please.

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow: Part 2

Picking up where I left off, the local hospital said I'd have to wait a week to get the needle removed from my hand. I'm an impatient person to start with and that was entirely too long. I jumped in the car (automatic shift this time) and drove to the ER at a different hospital about 50 miles away. Their blood pressure machine worked and they quickly flagged me with high blood pressure and a rapid heartbeat. VERY rapid. Atrial flutter. Since they are a cardiac oriented hospital, they wasted no time in getting me admitted for the heart problems. The needle in the hand sort of got some minor attention, but the heart stuff was center stage. After a day or so of giving copious amounts of blood and being poked and prodded with needles in both arms for IV's, my heart rate was back to normal and I was scheduled for tests that finally lead to some cardiac ablation...killing the nerve endings in my heart that were causing the flutter. As an afterthought, they also found a plastic surgeon to take care of the needle. So it took me four days to get the needle out of my hand and my heart back to something approaching normal...all because of a cat.

I guess the upside of this is that I'm feeling much better. I certainly appreciate everyone who took the time to pray for me, stop by my hospital room, call, or send a card. Friends are what makes life so enjoyable. Thank you.

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow: Part 1

I guess God isn't done with me yet. Some of you probably already know I spent a few days in the hospital last week. You might not have heard all of the circumstances, so I'll fill in the details. It's a long story, so I'll split it up into two separate posts.

We have several cats that my wife adopted a few months ago that hang around outside. Although they are permitted to come in the house occasionally, they spend most of their time outside. Once they get inside, they prefer to stay inside, so it's a bit of a chore to catch them. If you recall the closing credits for the old Flintstones cartoon, Dino would jump back in the window after Fred tossed him out. It's kind of like that.

Sunday night (Sept. 9th) around 9 p.m., one of them had gotten into the house uninvited and it took me a while to finally get hold of it. I opened the back door and put the cat back out. I was just a little aggravated about the cat, so I used a little more "oomph" than usual when I put my hand on the door to slam it.

Go with me here...my wife doesn't do that much sewing, but when she does, she's picked up the habit of parking her sewing needle in the nearest available curtain. Some time in the distant past, she was sewing something near that door I was slamming and parked her needle in the curtain that hangs over it's window. After slamming the door, I was surprised to find that needle was now sticking out of my right hand. Pulling on the thread that dangled from the needle only retrieved half of the foreign object. The other half remained inside my hand causing a moderate amount of pain.

Since I didn't want to leave the needle in my hand, I decided a hasty trip to the local hospital ER was in order. Unfortunately my wife had gone to work, leaving me with her vehicle to drive...which is a stick shift. My daughter can't drive a stick, so it was up to me to get myself to the ER somehow. Thankfully there wasn't much traffic that night, I was able to get there with a minimum of shifting...3rd gear most of the way.

Once in the ER, they tried to take my vitals, but the automatic blood pressure machine gave them an error message. Apparently it was too much trouble to check it manually, so they just skipped that step and moved on. X-rays determined that the needle was in too deep and couldn't be removed until they located a surgeon. Two hours later with a tetanus shot, antibiotics, and some pain pills, I was on my way back home in 3rd gear. The hospital said they would call me Monday to let me know when a surgeon could remove the needle for me.

By 2 p.m. Monday afternoon I gave up waiting and called the hospital. Yes, a surgeon was available...the following Monday. I don't think you'll be surprised to find out that I felt waiting 7 more days was unacceptable. The pain pills helped a bit, but my right hand was unusable for all practical purposes and still hurt like the dickens whenever I moved my wrist the slightest bit.

To be continued...

Job Search Update

I mentioned in my last post that I didn't expect being rehired by the school to be a slam-dunk, and it sounds like I was correct. With a little more than a week before they have classes scheduled to begin, I finally called the school today to check on my candidacy status. The human resources lady cheerfully told me all about the wonderful qualifications of one of the other candidates whose resumé very effectively blows mine totally out of the water. Although they haven't offered the job to anyone yet, it sounded like it's his if he wants it.

That's a little depressing, particularly since I haven't had any nibbles on the other resumés I've sent out. I spent most of today looking for job openings on the Internet, nothing much for computer technicians unless I'm willing to move out of the area. I did think of a couple of local companies that I haven't contacted yet that don't offer online job applications, so I'll probably drop by to see them early next week. Plus there's one company I applied at about a month ago that expected to have a job opening soon...I'm planning to stop there and remind them I'm available.

My wife has temporarily moved to a swing-shift (10 p.m. to 7 a.m.) for a couple of weeks while the store does some seasonal changes. That means more hours so I guess I shouldn't complain, but it's really messing with her sleep cycle. Sort of like jet lag except she hasn't gone anywhere.

My daughter-in-law is scheduled to do a preliminary interview for a job doing much the same thing she does now with a 4x salary increase and a lot of other perks. It would mean a cross-country move for the family, but I can't see how they could turn it down if she's offered the position.

Keep us in your prayers.

Li'l Brudder

I think I mentioned in the comments section of my previous post that I was having a little problem with the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services regarding unemployment benefits. For those of you that didn't read the comment, since I was working for a school in a teaching capacity, the standard procedure appears to be to deny benefits to any applicant because they're probably just "between terms" and not really unemployed. Since the school discontinued the day class I was teaching and created three newly structured evening classes to take it's place (and advertised for potential instructors to send in resumes), it's pretty apparent to me that getting to teach any of the new classes isn't going to be a slam-dunk. In my opinion I was unemployed until I signed a new contract with the school. I appealed the state's determination and got news early last week that they agree...I'm eligible for benefits.

While it's a relief to know that I will at least have a small income to help with the bills for a while longer, I also have this guilty feeling. I know that I legitimately deserve the benefits, the state agrees I deserve them and, as far as I know, very few people would deny that I deserve them. But the idea of taking any kind of public assistance makes me uncomfortable. There's this nagging itch in my brain that keeps saying "You shouldn't be taking that money. It isn't really yours. Other people need it more than you do. You can make it on your own!."

There is a popular Internet website that posts animated cartoons called Homestar Runner. Some of you may know of it. One of the minor characters is a one-legged puppy called "Li'l Brudder." The dogged* determination of the character saying "I can make it on my own!" as it pushes itself along with it's one hind leg points out the absurdity of people who refuse to accept help when they desperately need it. A dog with one leg clearly needs help getting around. So I guess I feel a little like that little pup...I want to say "I can make it on my own!" But obviously I need that unemployment check to help make the ends meet until I find a job.

After I got over the major portion of the guilt feelings about this whole thing, I got to thinking that we can be just like Li'l Brudder in our spiritual lives as well. We want to say "I can make it on my own! I don't need any help. Let me make my own decisions, let me blaze my own trail!" Yet most of us realize doing it alone isn't the way life works. We need help getting through it. And we certainly aren't going to make our way to Heaven on our own stubborn-headed initiative. Anyone that denies that is just fooling themselves, dragging along like a one-legged puppy. Thankfully, getting help is just a prayer away. God can pick us up like that crippled pup and carry us wherever we need to go, but we have to ask for His help and be willing to accept it when it is offered, under His conditions.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but on the outside chance that you don't already know what those conditions are, a little Bible study is in order. Acts 2:38 for starters, after that try John 14:6. To put it in a nutshell you must believe, repent, confess and be baptized for the remission of sins. Those are just the basics, there's a lot more than that to being a Christian, but that's enough to get you started.

Well, so much for the deep philosophy this time, keep prayin' for me and my family. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

*Pun intended :)

It's About Time I Made Another Post

No new posts since May. Hmmm, not doing too well as a blogger, am I? I guess I just ain't one of those folks who can commit themselves to having deep philosophical revelations on a daily basis. It seems the only time I get on here to say something, I end up complaining about something...and I'm sure you folks don't get a big lift from hearing about my problems.

So here I am again, rattling my cage and complaining about how life really stinks right now. I know I should be grateful just to be here, able to see, feel, taste, and enjoy life. It's not like I'm homeless (at least yet), suffering from some incurable disease, or starving to death like so many others. It makes me feel guilty to complain about these little bumps in the road that I'm experiencing...but they're MY bumps, I feel them, and they don't feel nice.

Here's some updates on the whole family and things in general so you have some kind of idea where I'm coming from:

Me
Today was my first day of unemployment in about 12 years. Yesterday was the last day of the summer term and the school has decided to change the format of the class I was teaching from a 3 term/900 hour course to three separate 300 hour courses on the different topics I was teaching. Plus they're moving it from day classes to night classes. The changes technically make it an entirely different class, so they have to start over from ground-zero, which means open interviews for instructors, etc. In the middle of this they have also been moving their classrooms from the old building to a new one...which is still in the final stages of construction. All of this means at least a month (probably 2 months) of no paycheck for me and the possibility that I might not be rehired. I've sent out a few resumés over the last month or so and had one interview, but no solid job prospects at the present time. I did submit a claim for unemployment benefits today, so hopefully I'll have a little income anyway.

My Wife
The wife is now working part time at the new Mal-Wart. Not the greatest pay scale in the world, but it's a job. It's easier than teaching school but a lot harder on her feet since she has to stand all day. The job physically wears her out to the point that about all she does is sleep when she's not on the job. Add to this that she just was informed that she gets an unpaid week off during fair week since, historically, their business drops dramatically during that period. So around the end of August there's going to be a big drop in our combined income for a while. Since many of our bills are already a month or or more overdue, I'm not looking forward to the notices and threatening calls from bill collectors that I know will eventually be coming in.


Son # 1
My oldest son just got word from the school that he taught at last year that they aren't rehiring him for this school year. They waited until late July to inform him of this, so all of the schools that were hiring have already done interviews. Thanks, board of education. He's sent out resumés also but, like his old man, hasn't had many nibbles. There's a good chance that he may have to move in with his mother-in-law or us, since I don't think he'll be able to afford the rent on the house where he's been living.

Daughter and #2 Son
These two are the only bright spots so far. my younger son's new job is going well and his employer seems to be happy with his work. There's been a hint of a possible promotion in a year or two to a significantly better paying position if he sticks with it. He misses being around family and friends, however, and longs to return to southern Ohio. My daughter is doing well academically and just turned 18. She doesn't say much about her personal life and feelings, but she seems to be happy; although a little bit bored by having to live with a couple of old geezers for at least another year. Her summer scholarship program appears to have been a blast and she's looking forward to being able to go to college next year. I just hope she can find a full-ride scholarship somewhere, because it doesn't look like we'll be able to afford tuition any time soon.

Other relatives
Mom fell and broke her arm and is still recovering from that. At 78 years old that's a serious thing to have happen but, considering her severe heart problems, she is doing pretty well. Dad is doing alright, but taking care of my mother puts a lot of stress on him as well. My wife's sister is still having problems with her legs, but has improved significantly over the past few months to the point that she can sometimes get around without a walker now. Her brother is being sued for medical expenses by a guy who was speeding in a blind curve and ran into him as he was pulling out of his driveway. Clearly the other guy's fault, but technically my brother-in-law was cited for the accident and therefore liable.

Well, enough about my problems, how's life treating you? Praise the Lord that I don't have cancer or whatever. I know things could be a lot worse...but when does the uphill part of this roller coaster ride I'm on begin?

Know of anybody hiring computer repairmen or teachers? I know where they can find some really good ones. :)

Happiness Is

While driving his car through the streets, a successful musician was contemplating the bitterly cold weather outside and thinking how happy he was to be inside his nice warm vehicle. Stopping at a red light, he glanced over and noticed two men who were obviously down on their luck. Dressed in rags, they were talking to one another on the windy cold street corner. The musician thought about how unhappy they must be to be out in the bitter cold with nowhere to keep warm. Then both of the men laughed and it became obvious to him that one of them had just told the other a joke. They were happy. Standing outside on the coldest day of the year they were happy.

Recently I recalled an old Bobby Sherman song titled “Happiness Is.” It’s one of those songs with some pretty lousy lyrics but a catchy tune that gets stuck in your head and you sing it over and over to yourself until it almost drives you insane. That’s probably why Kent cigarettes picked up the tune for their TV jingle, and yes, I remember when they used to advertise cigarettes on TV. Anyway, the song talks about what happiness means to different sorts of people. If you haven’t heard it, don’t bother looking up the lyrics, they’re not that great. Example: “To the Beatles, it’s a yeah, yeah, yeah.” But the song brought up the question, “What IS happiness?”

We sometimes tend to tie happiness to material things. We think “If only I had this or that thing I would be happy.” Yet upon acquiring the desired thing we experience only a brief period of happiness. Once the newness of the desired possession wears off, we see something else that’s shinier and more desirable and once again think “If I only had that, THEN I would be happy.” And the cycle continues.

Personal achievements can be seen as the source of happiness as well. “If I can only win this contest, If I can only loose this weight, if I can only [insert goal here] then I would be happy.” Yet, once again, happiness is fleeting. Winning a contest or an award, achieving some other personal goal may bring a moment of happiness, but once it’s over the happiness fades quickly.

Speaking about serving others, Jesus said “If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them” John 13:17. He had just washed the feet of his apostles, a menial task. I don’t know about you, but washing stinky, dirty feet doesn’t immediately conjure up images of happiness in my mind. Part of the point is that you can wash people’s feet and not enjoy it, or you can decide to be happy about serving others. It’s all in how you approach the task.

Happiness is not about obtaining possessions or personal glory. Happiness is a state of mind. You can decide to be happy or not. Like those men on the cold, windy street corner, we can choose to be happy no matter what our situation. Happiness is in the doing, not in the getting. Serving others can bring happiness or not. No matter where you are, no matter what you have, no matter how rich or poor you are, ultimately whether you are happy or not depends on you. Decide to be happy.