Oops...

I sometimes feel like I belong in an episode of “Laurel and Hardy.” Maybe one of the scenes where Stan repeatedly bangs Ollie in the head with a piece of lumber or a pipe by accident.

I misplaced my blood pressure cuff a couple of weeks ago and had gotten tired of borrowing my wife’s. I was pretty sure it’s around my desk somewhere, so I decided to look in the back of some of the drawers; they’re pretty deep. One of the drawers is blocked by a piece of furniture and will only open halfway, so I stuck my hand in and started pulling stuff out. I immediately spilled a couple of dozen index cards on the floor which I followed up by dumping an entire box of 60 individual band-aids on the floor as well. Turning in my swivel chair to take a look at where they had fallen, the back of the chair knocked over an oxygen canister and its trolley. Picking up the canister, my elbow knocked over an open jar of dry-roasted peanuts. I still haven’t found the blood pressure cuff and there are 6 drawers to go.

I just returned home Thursday afternoon after another stay in the hospital. This time it was only four days. Last Saturday night I fell asleep in my recliner. Sunday morning my right hip felt like someone had stabbed it with a rusty knife. I could barely stand up. I moved to my swivel chair…bad idea. It hurt too bad to get out of the chair. It took me over an hour to get out of the chair with my wife’s help. Limping to the kitchen, I realized that I was getting light-headed, almost ready to pass out and I felt like I’d been run over. Something was dramatically wrong, but stubborn me refused to let anyone take me to the ER. I was scheduled to have my first chemo treatment in three months the next morning and it had already been delayed at least three times, maybe four, I’ve lost count. In every case, I got sick and ended up in the hospital the day before the chemo and I was not going to let it happen again!

I was light-headed, which usually means my blood sugar level is going low. I checked it and it was normal, but I ate a couple of pieces of hard candy just in case it was dropping. Checking my blood pressure (with my wife’s cuff) I kept getting error messages. When it did give a reading, they were dramatically low. With a heavy sigh, I reluctantly let my wife call the ambulance for a ride to the ER.

I was diagnosed with pneumonia and possibly dehydration. My blood chemistry was seriously gone to pot and I was admitted after the requisite four hour wait on an uncomfortable cot. Four days later, full of steroids and antibiotics, I was released feeling 100% better. I’ve rescheduled my chemo with Dr. Whoosh for three weeks from today. I hope I can make it this time!