Monday, January 30, 2006

00:00:05

I just finished a book the other day by one of my favorite authors, Matthew Reily. If any of you are familiar with his works, you know he writes action adventures. One of the trademarks of his stories is that the action never stops. His heroes go from one nail-biting scenario to another with hardly time for a bathroom break. From the first or second page they're either in a gun battle or swinging from cables over molten lava. And of course, all of these perils are surmounted with split-seconds to spare. For example, in the book I just finished, the hero has to defuse a nuclear doomsday machine with seconds to spare. When it's all over the timer has 5 hundredths of a second left on it.

So what does all of this have to do with Dry Crusts? Split-second rescues: do they happen in real life? When I see this kind of cliche used in a book or a movie, I want to say "no way, that dude would have been toast in real life." Yet time and again, I've witnessed this kind of thing in my life. No, I haven't had to defuse a nuclear doomsday machine lately, but there have been countless times when I needed help of some type (usually financial) that I didn't know where to turn. Almost invariably, an unexpected check arrives in the mail. Either that or somebody repays a loan that I never expected to be repaid, or a gift from out of the blue...you get the picture. I never expected it, but there it is, the solution to my problem. It has happened too often for it to be mere chance. I should be homeless on the street...and maybe someday I will be. But I thank God that, for the moment, I'm not.

Which leads me to the final point of this soul-searching post. Why can't I trust God more? I know He cares. I know he has pulled my butt out of more scrapes than I can count on both hands. I say publicly that I trust him to see me through my trials and tribulations, but privately...deep down...there's this nagging doubt. What if this time God doesn't save my sorry butt from whatever disaster is looming on the horizon this week? I suppose it sounds like another cliche to say that's Satan doing his thing, but I think it is. That nagging doubt is him telling me to give it up, to stop trusting God. And no matter how close the timer gets to 00:00:00, that's one thing I can't do. I'll never give up on God to defuse that bomb.

3 comments:

Jason Coriell said...

I completely identify with what you have expressed. I, too, struggle with truly trusting God.

Also, for the record...you are the first to use "butt" twice in a post.

Scott Gampp said...

That's good, Al. It's easy to say I trust, but when it gets down to the rubber meeting the road I fail over and over again.

Zoe's Mom said...

Great post, Al! Very convicting, down to earth and real. So few people will be that honest with themselves an with others. There is tremendous healing in confessing our weaknesses and doubts while at the same time resolving to persevere. (sp?)